Survivor, Konoha!
by puddingcups
Summary: Naruto xover.Ichigo & Rukia,along with friends & shinigami enter a challenge in pairs in Konoha .But the race is like no other.All kinds of chaos ensues.The ninja are obstacles to the race.Better than summary.Pls give it a try.Thnx
1. Chapter 1

Survivor, Konoha!

Bleach and Naruto crossover. Characters for now are Ichigo, Rukia, Ishida, Orihime, Yoruichi, Urahara, Tsunade and Jiraiya. More to be added!

Chapter 1

"So what's the humongous grin on your face for? Don't tell me you messed up my underwear drawer again?!" exclaimed Kurosaki Ichigo, eyes wide and glaring at his not so tall friend, obviously unable to keep his cool as he had wanted to. It was nothing unusual though, for he never manages to control his temper.

His raven haired companion was snickering. She enjoyed seeing him so worked up over quite minor things and how his bright orange hair seemed to spike up even more when his temper flared. The way he pouted and his some what childish actions were one of Kuchiki Rukia's forms of entertainment.

"Hey, aren't I always grinning? Have you got a problem with me being happy, you unhappy freak?" retorted Rukia, arms akimbo as she stuck out her tongue at Ichigo.

"It's because everything goes wrong when you smile. So seeing you happy is unacceptable! Now own up, what is it this time? You broke a window? You ripped my clothes? You mixed my shampoo with cooking oil? Hey you really are enjoying all these aren't you? What the hell, did it ever occur to you to respect me?" Ichigo ranted, on and on blabbing about the unfairness of life and how pitiful he was to be living with her. Of course not that Kuchiki Rukia cared at all or was she listening to a single word.

"Oy, stop jumping to conclusions! Whoever said I did something to your oh so precious belongings? People smile for other reasons you know! No of course you don't, you forever frowning and scowling idiot! Did it ever occur to you how much luckier you are? Teme…"

That shut Ichigo up. 'Oops, I didn't exactly mean it that way. Neither did I want to upset her. What's with her anyway? We always quarrel and seldom get so upset. GAH! Now I have to apologize… Kuso!' thought Ichigo as he pondered what was going on in Rukia's mind.

"Er Rukia… Whatever got you so upset, I have no idea but I didn't mean anything! I mean I just said… I mean we always fight and you… Argh! Damn it, Rukia, I'm sorry, okay?!" Ichigo yelled, though no way in hell would he be forgiven with such an apology if the other party was seriously fuming.

"Hehehehee… HAHAHAHA!" cried Rukia, bursting into laughter, "Geez Ichigo, you didn't think I was mad did you? Oh my… you! HAHAHA!"

"TEME RUKIA!!!!" Ichigo lost it. He simply wanted to strangle the life out of her. But before he could do anything, she spoke.

"So you're going to kill me now? Eh? And cry about your stupidity and silliness, not to mention ultimate childishness later? BWAHAHAHA! Wait, anyway, don't you want to here why I was grinning?"

He let go of her shirt and frowned, crossing his arms and looking away, giving her the signal to speak.

"Well, I discovered some new way of earning money!" Rukia said, gleefully.

"What? Selling off my stuff again? You never learn your lessons do you?"

"No, no, NO! This time it's different! We enter a challenge show! You know like those you see on television, and the winner gets like thousands of dollars!"

"What the hell Rukia! Oh and what the heck do you need money for? And you think I'm so free as to spend my school holidays on some crazy pathetic excuse of entertainment to win myself some money that would be split unequally with you getting more than 75 and the chance of us winning like 1:50? No. Go ahead if you wish." Ichigo said immediately, not really caring.

"You are a stubborn bastard, aren't you? It's not crazy and I need money because you never give me any and because there's a chappy convention coming up in Australia and I want to go! Oh and the money will be split according to the best of my judgment, not really that much for me. Perhaps 74. Hehehehe. Oh never mind, so let's go have some fun! Your life is, like super boring and mundane, I-CHI-GO!" Rukia responded, confidently, putting on her sweetest face and blinking her eyelids as she edged closer to Ichigo and smiled like a Cheshire cat.

"Humph, you'll never leave me alone until I agree won't you? You'd better not make me regret this! And you'd better give me at least 60 of our winnings! And you better not screw anything up." Ichigo scoffed.

"Ooh. How scary and threatening you sound, so much like a gangster!"

"Do you want me to go or not?! And besides, how come you need me? Can't you go alone? I can always watch on television, if your true motive is to show off. Or are you planning to embarrass me? If so, I'm out," pouted Ichigo, narrowing his eyes fixing his gaze on the smaller being in front of him.

"No way. I need you cause it's like a couple challenge! I mean like you have to sign up in pairs! Like Amazing Race, only this is Survivor! But a special challenge this time that requires you to join in pairs! Oh hell, you sure think very lowly of me don't you, Orange head?!" Rukia snapped, and then remembering she was the one asking Ichigo a favor, she smiled quickly hoping to brush off her hostility.

"Humph! Whatever. Give me the details, when is it?" Ichigo questioned, a slight tinge of curiosity burning in him. 'Now maybe this won't be so bad after all. She's right; I do need a break from stress and my boring lifestyle. Perhaps this will be fun; though no way in hell would I let her know about that!' Ichigo deliberated.

"Hai! We leave tomorrow! It's in Konoha Village, erm I don't know where it is but there will be a free bus service to take us there from the bus terminal. We need to reach by ten in the morning though! Cause the bus leaves at, ten… ten thirty… no that's wrong… hmm… about ten thirty plus! Travel light Ichigo, so don't pack a lot! Oh and bring whatever cash you have, they'll provide but just in case, you know! This is a race, and we got to win! Cause I want that money!"

"What show is this anyway? You are a bastard you freaking bastard. It's tomorrow and you tell me now?!" Ichigo growled, voice rising to a crescendo as Rukia just smiled and continued reading.

"Oh the name of this show is Survivor. But this is a special edition, instead of living on an island for about a month, it's in Konoha Village for two weeks and it's not only surviving but we have to race to different parts of town to get something, you know like Amazing Race? Yeah!" Rukia rambled, excitement in her increasing, unaware that Ichigo was still pissed that he was informed at the so very last minute.

"What would you do if I said no, and no and no and no and no?" he asked. Rukia only grimaced and looked away at the ceiling, desperately thinking up a different subject for the conversation.

"Ah! That's not important, I'd probably have to forsake my life for you and well, whatever it is, and it'll be your entire fault! And I will live in misery forever! And I will probably commit suicide in your house," Rukia replied, oblivious to the sound of the footsteps of her friend growing softer until it disappeared. She did not even realize his absence as she complained on and on, being no different from Ichigo who had grumbled so much earlier.

"Wake up Ichigo! It's already nine o'clock! We need to leave in an hour's time!" Rukia screamed, with the intention of accidentally bursting Ichigo's eardrums. When he only mumbled a few words and tossed in his bed, Rukia edged nearer and stretched out her arms, flexing her fingers, ready to tickle the living daylights out of Ichigo. She had almost stayed up the whole night with several hours of sleep, unable to stop thinking about the whole trip to Konoha Village. Not only was she enthusiastic about the journey to making it rich and attending the chappy convention in Australia but she was also ecstatic about spending two whole weeks with Ichigo, working side by side as they strived together for the same goal.

"ICHIGO! ICHIGO! ICHIGO! Beware, the TICKLE MONSTER!!!" Rukia hollered, an evil glint in her eyes, she put her icy cold fingers on Ichigo's face, running it down his neck and onto his chest and abdomen before she…

"TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!!!!! BEHOLD MY EXTREME TICKLING THAT SHALL SEND YOU OUT OF DREAMLAND INTO REALITY YOU SLEEPING UGLY!" Rukia cackled, all her concentration focused on tickling Ichigo, and getting his lazy ass out of bed. Normally she would have whacked him or poured a bowl of cold cereal onto his face, but somehow today she was feeling a little kind.

"W-WH-WHAT THE HECK?! AH-AHAHA-AHAHAHAHAA-AHA HEHEHE HOHOHO HAHAHA AHAHAH HEHEHE HO!" Ichigo doubled up. The great shinigami who surprised everyone with the rate at which his powers grew and his amazing strength was unfortunately defeated by tickles.

When Rukia was certain he laughed so much he could not sleep back no matter how hard he tried, she removed her hands and stormed out of the room. 'That idiot! How can he be so lazy and irresponsible?!' Rukia fumed.

Meanwhile, Ichigo was still laughing, although his laughter died down gradually after Rukia had left. He began to search around the room, confused as to what had happened and why he was laughing. Hoping he had not lost his sanity, he scrambled out of bed and decided to forget the whole incident as it was probably only a dream.

"Ah! I'm so proud of myself! I got out of bed all by myself! Me! Without the help of anyone! Oh geez, today might just go well!" Ichigo mused out loud as Rukia and he stood at the platform in the bus terminal, impatiently waiting for the bus to arrive.

Rukia could only stifle a giggle as memories of the morning tickling incident flooded back into her head. She let a small laugh escape her lips as she thought of how stupid Ichigo was to not even know what happened. 'Honestly, some great person he is. It's probably all talk. Geez, who would believe he rescued me from Soul Society or could fight as equals with Kuchiki taichou and other high rank shinigami?!' Rukia contemplated.

"…laugh at me you?! What's so funny anyway? Did you mix up the timing again? Huh, Rukia?!" Ichigo was beside her, pissed off.

After ten long and tiring minutes of bickering, the bus arrived and they stopped arguing as both pushed forward to board the bus. Clashing into each other before Rukia raised her hand and shoved Ichigo out of the way. Smiling as she entered the bus first and paying for her ticket, not noticing the slight frowns on the bus driver's face as he had bad thought already about them.

As Ichigo boarded, he was frustrated at having been lost to a midget whose shove had easily sent him two meters backwards. Boarding the bus, he looked nothing less than a gangster ready to pound his victim into minced meat. The driver only shook his head in disagreement and silently thought to himself how these two reckless teenagers would ever win the race.

Rukia sat at the far back of the bus, playing with a chappy bunny she brought along as she spread her belongings out on the seat next to her. Ichigo walked towards her glaring an inhuman glare but as he stood before her, trying his best to control his temper while he waited for her to clear the seat beside her so he could sit down.

But she never did. She continued toying with the rabbit's ears as the bus drove off from the station and Ichigo was still standing before her, tapping his feet with his arms crossed.

Finally he lost it.

"ARGH for god's sake! Selfish brat! I'll sit in front. Far far far away from you! Let's see you cry for help when you get attacked by…by… whoever wants to!"

And with that he stormed to the front of the bus, his feet sounding as heavy as a herd of elephants.

The bus driver fancied yelling at Ichigo as the bus shook slightly. 'A sane person could turn into a murderer with the presence of those two.' Thought the bus driver as he tried to ignore the rage building inside him.

Suddenly, Ichigo turned back to face Rukia and made a monkey face thinking she was not looking, then regretted because she was and because he was acting so childish and idiotic like her.

Before a fight brewed, the bus driver raged.

"Would you two shut up and separate yourselves! Stop that bull! Either shut up and stay away form each other or get out of my BUS!" he screamed, emphasizing on the last five words.

That shut Ichigo and Rukia up as they both sat, Ichigo right in front and Rukia at the rear, both looking out of the window, suddenly interested in their surroundings as they were both silently embarrassed.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" they both shrieked at the same time, before clapping a handover their mouths and apologizing to the poor driver.

End of first chapter.

(A/N): Was it okay? I know my other two fics suck like anything. I just got this idea but I guess it's not very original. Sigh.. Well let me know with your reviews. Thank you so much for reading through.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ichigo was still pissed at Rukia. But deciding that frowning and throwing a tantrum would only shorten his lifespan, in fact just living with Rukia cut off a fifth of his life already, so he resolved to save the remainder by shutting up and trying to relax.

He sit back and shut his eyes, focusing on his breathing in and out deeply, driving out the anger in his head.

He almost fell asleep while listening to the monotonous driving of the bus along the road. His eyelids sliding shut every time he opened them and the dull scenery passing by ever so slowly was not helping.

'Grrr. Damn Rukia. And there seems to be something wrong with this bus. At this rate we'd only reach tomorrow' Ichigo thought to himself, frowning once again, forgetting the pact he made to relax and save his life from vanishing before he could retire and travel around.

Finally he gave in to his exhaustion from not having enough sleep the previous night, no thanks to Rukia prancing about the room and happily singing.

"Give it to me baby uh huh uh huh Give it to me baby uh huh uh huh……"

But all of a sudden, he heard something that made him jump centimeters off his seat before landing hard on his bum, gripping the seat and turning around to glare menacingly at the source of ultimate disturbance.

"… Our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway. He may not have a clue, and he may not have style, but everything he lacks, well he makes up in denial!" the extremely loud and high pitched singing-no screeching actually, of Kuchiki Rukia echoed throughout the bus, bursting any bits of calmness and toying with everyone's tolerance.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKIA!!!! Shut the hell up! Oh my gosh, and here I was having peace at long last! Are you trying to pick a fight again RUKIA?! You haven't had enough or what? We're gonna be thrown out if you don't shut up! Get it? Close your mouth! Z-I-P it shut! HUMPH!"Ichigo thundered, making a hundred times more of a commotion than Rukia, who was just innocently singing to pass time.

"WHAT? Ichigo! You big, bad wolf! You son of a bastard! You incorrigible bully! You… you… you've got a pretty fly for a white guy! Jealous of my singing, Ichigo? Jealous that I know such a great song? Oh come on! Just admit it straight!" Rukia said, in a pitiful wailing voice which switched to a teasing sing song one.

"I swear I would stop cursing and as a man I shall keep to my word. So be thankful for that, Kuchiki Rukia!"

"What? Be thankful you're a man? OHOHOHOHO!" Rukia played around, not really knowing the limits of Ichigo's patience.

"HEY! Look, if you want to sing, open the window and jump out, I'm sure you'd make a fortune singing on the streets! Yeah a fortune of tomatoes and rotten eggs and filthy raw fish and a really foul and putrid stench clinging to you forever and ever! Amen!" Ichigo replied spontaneously, shaking his fist in the air. Unaware of the sound as someone in the background cracked his knuckles and put on a large boxing glove, enough evil in his eyes to kill for three days straight.

"OI! You thickheaded freak! You monstrous disaster! You… you…smarty pants everything wannabe! I will sing all I like, where ever I want, however much I love, whatever the consequences, and if you stop me, who knows how you'll become extinct in the next few seconds?" sneered the raven haired mischievous midget, grinning from ear to ear, placing a finger on her lip as if in thought.

Ichigo was not going to let her win all the time nor was he going to admit defeat to an immature teen that was always taking advantage of him and humiliating him. However he did not want to be a permanent resident of Soul Society yet.

"Fine. Since I do not wish to be tossed off the bus into a pile of junkyard or something worse, I shall not argue over such a stupid situation. That does not, does not and DOES NOT mean I am going to let you win again and steal the glory of annoying me. You sing a nicer song, get it? A suitable song," Ichigo warned Rukia, not that she was going to listen or that she heard the "does not, does not and does not" part of his speech. Ichigo on the other hand, was so proud of himself for rectifying the circumstances so smoothly and professionally. However little did he know that a professional would not really cared if someone won such a pathetic argument with himself.

Rukia grinned cheekily and took out her book of aggravating songs which she had compiled before the journey and bent her head down to study them, in a dilemma which to pick for exasperating Ichigo.

"AH! This is it!" Rukia gasped, flipping the pages wildly as she located the perfect song on the content page, "BOY! I want to take you to a gay bar. I want to take you to a gay bar. I want to take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar! At the gay bar! I've got something to put in-KYAAAH!!"

Rukia sang really joyfully, having the time of her life, one eye looking at the lyrics of the song while the other eyeing Ichigo in utmost anticipation. Unfortunately, before she could sing anymore of the juicy party song, a hardcover book was flung in her direction as she barely dodged it, sustaining a slight scratch at her left temple.

Rubbing it furiously, she gritted her teeth and glowered a defiant stare at the orange headed death god. She was about to return his efforts when the bus halted at a bus stop and the driver stood up and opened his mouth to yell a string of colorful words.

Ichigo and Rukia were saved by a series of rattles on the front door. The driver turned back, promising himself he would finish them off with something big before reaching to open the door for the new passengers.

The two were still staring at each other, thoughts of ungodly revenge that was so ugly yet stupid, so terrorizing that it need not be spoken out to be heard.

Footsteps neared them.

They continued staring without a care.

The footsteps grew closer and closer, louder and louder.

Ichigo and Rukia nonetheless still seething with rage, smoke burning from their ears.

"Ano, Kurosaki-kun? Kuchiki-san? You guys are-"

"Shut up!" Ichigo and Rukia ordered in unison.

It took them three whole seconds to realize the voice was awfully familiar.

"Inoue?" they wondered out loud, again, in unison, before shooting each other a death glare that said "How dare you repeat after me, loser?" before looking up to see if it was really their classmate and close friend, Orihime Inoue.

"Inoue!" they gaped, astonished to find their friend in the same bus to Konoha Village. Looking to Inoue's left, "Uryuu!" they screeched, once again at the exact same second. But this time they did not look at each other in a scary way. They were puzzled as to why both Ishida and Inoue were here, standing in front of them with their luggage.

"What… are… you… guys doing here!" Ichigo and Rukia seemed to have fused their voices as one, as they, for the billionth time, opened their mouth to speak the exact same words at the exact same time.

"We are taking part in the challenge in Konoha Village!" chuckled Inoue enthusiastically, as if that was the most obvious thing in the universe, "Oh! And I see you guys are too! Yay!"

Ichigo and Rukia only stared at a lost for words.

"Hey Rukia, did you ask them?"

"No Ichigo, I didn't! I only told you!"

"Then how do they know?"

"Why don't you freaking ask them?!" Rukia snapped, a little annoyed that Inoue may snatch Ichigo's attention away.

"Dumbasses. You think Kuchiki-san is the only one who knows about this? It's all over cartoon network! Oh and nickelodeon too!" Ishida replied hastily, without thinking twice over what he had just uttered at the spur of the moment.

"EH?" Ichigo mused, "Cartoon network? Nickelodeon? AHAHAHAHAHA oh my god! Ishida Uryuu, you watch those channels?"

"OI! I never said I did, I was… was… erm babysitting and the television happened to be on to that channel and the toddler was watching so I couldn't turn it off could I?" Ishida immediately jumped in to his defense, again not thinking before he opened his mouth.

"OH MY GOD! I knew you sew but babysitting? WAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! You're killing me man Uryuu!" Ichigo could not help but burst out laughing at the image of his friend playing with a toddler or having the patience to feed it even.

Meanwhile, Rukia, the politer of the two, only hid her face behind her book and sniggered. Inoue flushed a little red as she watched Ishida dumbfounded, silently panicking as if he ransacked his genius brain for a not humiliating thing to say to explain why he was babysitting. His eyebrow twitched as Ichigo's body convulsed in guffaws and Rukia's giggling grew slowly into loud cackling. Pushing up his glasses, he decided to ignore the two who were making fools out of themselves and to act mature. He could not believe he was associated with such hooligans. 'Best not to say anything, denying it would only make them laugh even more. When was I even good at lying in the first place? Oh shit. I can't believe I just blabbered to the whole world via Ichigo and Rukia my deepest secret.

"HEY WAIT! What about you, ICHIGO? How did you find out? Must have done something really worth me knowing and laughing about! Spill the beans," Ishida countered, pleased he had such a comeback to save his skin.

"Huh? Oh Rukia here found it out. Don't ask me, it's not like I'm shrinking in age or anything," Ichigo teased, smiling way too much.

Ishida was not about to ask Rukia. He was not that close to her and did not have the nerve to ask her about something that may be personal and trigger a world war. So he grumbled something under his breath and walked away. Inoue stood rooted to the ground, unsure of what to do. Lugging her huge suitcase of sweet bean paste and bread, she faked a smile at Ichigo and Rukia before scurrying off to seat with Ishida. She liked Ichigo but Ishida was her friend too and Ichigo should not have been so mean, she thought.

Finally, all the excitement died down, much to the bus driver's relief. He could not erase the fury raging in him though, he wondered why on earth he had decided to go to work even with a splitting headache, which had now became thunderous pounding echoing throughout his head. Sighing, he gripped the sterling wheel and prayed he would survive through this all.

Just then, a fairly odd couple signaled the bus. He reluctantly stopped the engine and opened the doors. The guy was a walking fashion disaster while his companion was striking beauty. But when she opened her mouth, it was not as pleasant as his first impression.

"Drive off old man! We're going to be damn late so you'd better hurriedly put the bus into gear before I swat your ass to the other world, got it?" Yoruichi taunted, a little delighted though, that the man had looked at her with admiring eyes. He was not really old but she loved to make others uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Ichigo and Ishida had leaped from their seats as a baffled expression was plastered on their faces. They landed on the floor, legs and arms in the air, twitching. Just before they lost consciousness, they caught a brief glance of Kuchiki Rukia smiling out of the corner of their eyes and lasted long enough to hear her speak.

"Ohaiyo Urahara-san, Yoruichi-san! Glad you guys made it too. Haha the more the merrier, how true," Rukia said, satisfied that she had won another time against Ichigo.

Inoue was confused but she rushed forward to help Ishida and Ichigo up. This was after all, not anything surprising and weird compared to what she had experienced before. No, this was way less than that. She laughed along with Rukia, thinking the trip would be fun after all.

"YAY! We're here! We're here! OHOO! Yay! We're finally here!" Inoue and Rukia chanted together, making Urahara and Yoruichi have second thoughts about tagging along. They did not want any money as they had plenty, just time to spend together and have fun. Also Rukia had asked they help her so she could win. Not that they cared whether she won or not but well they felt a little kind and decided to help, considering there was nothing to lose.

Ichigo and Ishida had awoken awhile before then. Ichigo scratched his head and wondered what had gotten into Rukia, was about to tease her when he remembered she had been the one who asked Urahara and Yoruichi along, which would eventually lead to huge disasters. So he scowled and pretended to remain angry although he had long cooled down.

Ishida was expressionless as per normal and only gazed out at his surroundings, taking in the sightings of Konoha Village.

They were about to ask the driver where to go when a black haired lady appeared out of nowhere with a really cute pig.

"Follow me, Hokage-sama is waiting for you in her office, along with other competitors. Now hurry, you guys are beyond late!" she sputtered, a little irritated for having wait so long for their arrival, "Oh and I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Shizune. Hokage-sama's assistant."

Urahara stared, eyes glued to her body. Ichigo was amazed too, she was really stunning. Meanwhile Ishida had a blank expression put on but inside he was secretly thinking of how stunning she looked. 'But she needs better clothes,' he pondered, 'maybe I could sew some for her.'

Rukia, Yoruichi and Inoue looked away from the guide to the three men, a not so happy or kind stare, arms crossed and tapping their feet in annoyance. Well, Inoue only stared at Ishida as Rukia stared at Ichigo and Yoruichi at Urahara. She was not about to let Ishida know she sort of liked him. Because she had not yet decided if she liked him or Ichigo.

Shizune realized she was being ogled at and instantaneously cleared her throat a little too loudly, before walking off leaving the six of them to trail behind her.

(A/N): Argh. It's no good. Sigh… I know it was supposed to be a game show but I changed it to one organized by Tsunade, for entertainment and gambling (betting). Please leave a review and tell me where I suck at (: Got lots of room for improvement. And thanks for reading. Anyway preview for next chapter:

Tsunade's office; meet the other competitors! What? Byakuya? And so many shinigami? Konoha Ninja? What's their purpose? How different is this race from others? The participants have to work in groups. Chaos is around the corner.

Lyrics: Pretty fly for a white guy by The Offspring

Gay Bar by Electric Six


End file.
